The loss of my mobility is a staggering blow to my psyche. I am a go-getter, a doer. I do not sit still and wait for life to happen; I make my life happen. To wake up one morning and have the ability to move as I like suddenly be missing is a serious obstacle to my determination to be stoic. I cannot cope with it. I have tried to make myself walk normally and it doesn’t happen. In the past, I was always a mind over matter kind of girl. Where there’s a will there’s a way, and all that. These days, I’m lucky if I can remember what a will is.
I never realized how my concept of self was tied up in my mobility. I am not entirely sure exactly what the hang-up is for me. Is it looking like a cripple? Is it not being able to be as limber and agile? Is it that I can’t keep up with my family anymore? I imagine it has something to do with all of the above.
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