A New Design & A Little Preview

Apparently, people think my family is funny, which is a huge relief. I think we're funny, too, and it's nice to get confirmation that I'm not totally insane. (Pretty sure there's some of that floating around here, too.) In light of the fact that people other than my immediate family (i.e. my parents and in-laws) are reading this, and because I'm so thoughtful and generous and have no ulterior motives, I decided to give my blog a make-over! Whoopie!

It was loads of fun, and even though I didn't get my nails painted and my hair wasn't brushed or styled in return, I think this is a great summer look for Life From Scratch. Totally slimming, and it highlights in all the right places while hiding the wobbly bits. Just what you want in a make-over.

I'm on such a roll that I'm also giving you (lucky thing!) a preview of the next post I'm working on. It involves a Red Robin manager, two of my three kids, and a vodka bottle. If you know us at all, you know that the possibilities for where that could end up are endless...

Now, I guess it's time for me to get started on all that paperwork I was supposed to be working on.

What We All Learned This Morning

This morning was a morning of learning. Some people have mornings of learning where they read something in a book or see something they didn't know before in the paper or on TV. Sometimes, people even go to school in the morning, and learn that way. Our morning of learning didn't have any of those things.

Thursdays are the day when The Doctor gets up at the obscene hour of "still dark outside o'clock", and in his obscenely cheerful way, bakes muffins, brews coffee, and takes a walk. This is pretty much the sort of obscenely annoying thing he does nearly every day, but Thursdays are the day when he also gets a ride in to work early for meetings. Leaving the rest of us behind. Sleeping. Because normal people aren't up yet.

The learning part actually happens pretty much every Thursday. Stuff like I learn that he forgot to reset the alarm; or that Tater Tot decided to perform an impromptu science experiment in the bathroom and now I need to find the wet vac; or that Doodle Bug had a ten page report with diagrams due this morning; or that the dog magically opened the door to a bedroom all by himself, and helped himself to stuffy that he then dismembered in an I am dog, hear me roar moment.

(To be honest, Tater does experiments most mornings, so I guess that one's not such a big deal, and Doodle's report was actually not for class. It was a self-assigned report with flow charts and diagrams, outlining the way that the playground worm population could best utilize the new structures he and his pals had built. It's called Wormy Island, and apparently, it's a pretty posh new housing development for discerning worms and potato bugs. He wrote it all up on the way to school that morning, and some of the units are now move-in ready.)

Anyway, this Thursday morning was a little different. The Doctor did his usual deal. Then he left. And then, the boys woke up. And instead of their usual deal (making enough noise to drown out a herd of elephants at a disco party), they quietly "borrowed" my phone. The phone with my wake-up alarm.

The official story is that they wanted to let me get a little more sleep, being the thoughtful, considerate children that they are. And I did. A lot more sleep. I woke up a few hours later, feeling well rested and serene, Tater Tot curled up on one side of me and the dog at my feet. That lovely serenity lasted the three seconds it took me to roll over and look at the clock.


So, here is what I learned today:

1. I am a sound sleeper.
2. I need multiple alarms in the morning.
3. I need to hide some of these alarms so that my clever (i.e. devious) offspring will not find them all.
4. My children are sweet, kind, and thoughtful. Especially, if it's in their own self-interest to be so.
5. It's possible to be proud and annoyed at the same time. (Proud that the guys were working together toward something, and annoyed that the something was snookering me.)
   

Here is what the boys learned today:

1. Mom is a sound sleeper.
2. If you can find and neutralize mom's alarms, you can have a leisurely morning, doing whatever you want.
3. Being sweet, kind, and thoughtful can get you whatever you want. Especially if mom is asleep when you're being sweet, kind, and/or thoughtful.
4. Saltines, Nutella, and mini M&Ms are a great breffy combination.
5. While we lost the chance to win the Perfect Attendance award on the first day of school, we do stand a really great shot at winning the Most Tardies award.
6. An award for Most Tardies is still an award.
7. Making videos and taking photos is fun.
8. Leaving videos and photos on mom's phone is leaving evidence.

My Genius Ideas

Yesterday was the last day of school before spring break. In a totally genius move, I decided to pull all three kids out of school early.

For dentists appointments.

At the same time.

Two fillings, one extraction, and three sets of sealant.

Pure genius.

Once that little bit of insanity was over, we decided to celebrate by having movie night, and a camp out in the living room. By camping out in the living room, I mean the kids get to sleep in the living room, and I put in ear plugs and conk out in the comfort of my own bed at about 7:30. Ear plugs: mommy's secret helper. Well, one of them, at least.

They told the usual silly stories, and a few "spooky" ones. It's amazing how the kids these days are still telling the same stories we told when we were that age. Sooo loooong agoooo, as they keep telling me. Maybe the scary part is that it really was so long ago.

Then, there's the eventual meltdown that happens when one kid wants to go to sleep and another kid is totally hopped up on story time and the M&Ms they found in the couch cushions. Fortunately, my earplugs are the industrial/construction grade kind, so I mostly don't hear this part. It's only when they come screaming into my room, trampling over The Doctor, trying to get to me first to be The Bearer Of Horrible Tidings that I can't block it out anymore.

Apparently, I've missed the section in my parenting contract where it outlines that The Bearer Of Horrible Tidings is an actual job description, but my kids take it very seriously. It must've been in the fine print.

I love the ear plugs for this reason. I just wave my arms, mouthing, "Sorry! I can't hear you!" until they finally give up and stomp away. Works like a charm every time.

They might look like sweet little angels in this photo, but don't let them fool you. Five minutes earlier, they were duking it out Looney Tunes style and screaming up and down the hallway in a contest of who can tattle first.

Also, in case you're worried that I won't hear it if someone really does get hurt, fear not. You can hear the really loud screams through the earplugs. So, really, it's a win win.