Kids are not appreciative of my witty sarcasm in response to their plaintive cries of boredom. My suggestion that they fill time by unloading dishwasher, folding laundry, or vacuuming are met with glassy-eyed stares and gaping mouths.
It is difficult to take seriously their pathetic pleas for heat, extra blankets, and the return of their winter garments when I have photographic evidence that they are impervious to cold. I always knew that snapping those shots of them running in the backyard, barefoot and clad only in undergarments, in the middle of that snowstorm would be to my future benefit. Somehow, I thought that benefit would come when they were in their teens, but this works, too.
Today, I opened a new savings account in order to begin saving for the new furniture I will need when the time comes for them to go back to school. The deep indentations are already forming in the cushions where they frequently flop backwards in an attempt to express disdain and/or extreme lethargy. Surgery may also be necessary in order to counter the effects of the frequent eye rolling that accompanies these flopping motions. Must begin saving for that, as well.
The only thing that seems to stir them from their malaise is something called an "x box", and this "box" is filled with strange noises and lights. It is as though there is a car racing through my living room!
I am beginning to feel a strange sort of lethargy creep over me as I write this. All attempts at prying children from couch have failed, piles of laundry taunt me, and the house in general exudes an air of disdain at my attempts to bring order.
I will retreat for now, in order to regroup and rethink my strategy. I will go to my special "thinking place." This is the only sound course of action open to me now.
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| Someone is in my special thinking place. |
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